Note:

This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Friday, January 18, 2013

That's Why I Hate Teens...

No, I didn't say this...this was a statement made by a teen...my 14 year old.

We went to see the movie "Mama" this evening. It was the 7PM showing at North Hills. I'm not a big fan of this theater but it was the earlier showing so, there you go. We got there nice and early - 6:30 - and got our favorite seats -- the very back. We were the first ones there.

But not for long...people came in droves. Literally. Groups came in as if in a parade. And man, they weren't quiet about it. First group came right into our little corner. Then a few more sporadic little groups, then an almost entire row of teens came in front of us, and so on and so on. They came in like ants. I can't believe a theater could hold that many groups at one time.

And god, they were obnoxious. Loud. Not just loud. Insufferably loud. Like "I dare you to tell me to be quiet" loud. Or "I want everyone to hear me" loud. Or "I think I am hilarious" loud.

And they don't sit still. They get up and go to the other side of the row to sit on their friends' lap and talk loud, text, giggle loudly. And just when you block the sound of their annoying voice out, they walk back over to their empty seat to remind you that they can't fucking sit still. And they do this the whole fucking time the previews go on.

And my patient mind justifies this during the previews but they better be quiet when the movie starts...but CJ is not happy and at some point, she says to Tim and I those very words "This is why I hate teenagers."

Before the movie starts, the film stops, the lights come on, and at the front of the theaters is a movie lady and two 'police officers'. She looks pissed off. She explains that this theater is full of teens and they need to shut the fuck up and put their god damn phones away or they are throwing their asses out. They've done it before and they're doing it again. And if they can't figure out who the culprit is, they're throwing out whole rows. I start applauding. I would've wolf whistled but I don't know how to. I would have whooped whooped but I didn't want to get thrown out.

Anyway, it worked for the most part. But about half way through the movie, there were two people on the other side of us (there was a big gap between the inner aisles in the back) who freaking MUMBLE-TALKED the entire time. And no one on their end would shush them! I asked CJ if I could shush them and she PUT HER HAND ON MY ARM TO HOLD ME BACK. So, I did. Meaning, I did NOT shush them.

But later, the freaking dude was TAKING GD PICTURES!!! OMG-freaking god. I was in a freak show, or the fifth dimension of theater watching. Why do these people come to movies to talk and take pictures? But that wasn't the end of it...there was kissing noises...LOUD KISSING NOISES that I could hear across the aisle. Finally, towards the end, I yelled STOP IT after seeing another flash of the flash of the camera. I don't know if they heard me, or if coincidentally, they finally decided to leave, but they finally left.

So, North Hills, thankfully and finally, has reached the banned list of our theaters. I hate that theater. The freaking obnoxious kids go to that theater...it is the worst.

As for the movie itself, it was good. The "mama" was a great special effect/actor and very freaky and scary. And Jessica Chastain was HOT HOT HOT with her short, black hair 'do'. It didn't have good ratings but it also didn't end with a hollywood 'happy' ending. Coincidence? I think not.

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