This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


As I have posted before, I have weird issues where my hand goes numb. I have chronic neck pain that I think causes the TIA-like symptoms I get, including the numbing of right hand.

Along with that, I also have the left shoulder pain which actually prevents me from sleeping on my left side. WTF is wrong? I have no clue but the bicep area tends to feel bruised...constantly. So it's not just the shoulder.

Last week, after a fun hour or so of wallyball, I was feeling sore. The usual. But I noticed that my right shoulder seemed to come up with a throbbing pain. I coached Girls on the Run, got home, and had to turn around and head to teen writing club. Man, I wasn't feeling great before heading for that one. The pain was excruciating but I couldn't let those writers down and I wanted to be there for them.

And I managed to pull through without 'feeling' the pain, as I was more enrapt with the topics of conversations and the readings of their stories. But I had to head back and cut the evening shorter than usual...and when I got home? Arrrrggghhh!

I was in so much pain that I felt like crying. But I didn't. I just sat in agony...shifting as much as possible to try to get comfortable. Nothing worked. I took some pain medicine...nada. At the peak of this pain throb, the toes on my right foot would quiver. I knew something bad was going on...

Tim managed to find an old prescription for a muscle relaxant that I had, so I took a couple of those before nighty-night time. It didn't help me while I was awake, trying to get to sleep so I would stop feeling the pain...begging for sleep so I could sleep through it.

I woke up the next morning: no more pain. Still tender but I was much better. I took two more muscle relaxants and the rest of the day became a bit of a blur.

My new doc recommended a nerve I was set up to have an EMG done...which I had today. Basically, the doctor sticks a needle in different places along my hand, arm and then neck, and analyzes whether I have anything abnormal. My hope that a pinched nerve would be discovered to explain my mysterious hand-numbing spells.

Alas, this would not be the case. My left arm is 'normal'. My right shows signs of mild carpal tunnel syndrome. And my neck? Nothing. His recommendation was to treat my pain...I'm sure through PT and pain medicine. I am OK with that but sadly, I would have liked to have had a diagnosis.

It's sad when people suffer pain stemming from "something" and it can't be diagnosed. I mean: I certainly don't want to have some sort of disease or illness...truly, I do not. But when NOTHING can be determined to be a cause to the pain effect, it's frustrating because I can't stop doing whatever aggravates it, or I can't do something to help it, or find a specific doctor to take care of it. I am just in pain limbo.

When my neck is greatly agitated, say looking up a lot (like painting ceilings or walls in my house), I turn into a mess: I fell nauseous, my head and neck feel so fragile that I think it's going to break off, I get a headache and just an overall yucky feeling all over. IT SUCKS.

But I've been living with it for years and my only hope is that one doctor, or two, will come along and come up with the right mix of drugs, PT, surgery, whatever, to help me cope with this mentally and physically.


  1. I just freaked out and checked the time because I was afraid I'd missed the meeting and you were blogging about _tonight_. And then I re-read the paragraph.

    Thanks for coming and hanging out with us even though your day was sucking- we all love you so much. :)

  2. Awwww...Olivia, you make my day always. I love you guys too. It was a great highlight that I shared with many of my co-workers. I loved the "why do you keep coming back?" question and the answers. I truly learn so much from you all and it's inspirational to see young people be so confident and caring about so many things...passion. That's the right word. I think I'll be able to come back more often as my kids' schedules aren't going to be too bad in the new year. :)

  3. heh --- I hope you solve the mystery. Missed you this week at Chi & outdoor IT. Hang in there. - jt

  4. Thanks Jenian. I miss you and the classes too. Well, not Chi - I wasn't interested in her filming me do something I wasn't getting. I'll read the book and see what I can do... But I need to heal a bit before I can get out there and get them push-ups going. :)

  5. reading this brought the memory of a book read long ago....
    existential moment causes man to reasses life, etc. Existential moment: elbow pain. my 2 cents. :) -ricardo

  6. I read a portion of this on like his writing style. And of course this bit, after he asks the doctor what is wrong with him...the chest pains and stuff:

    'She shrugged, and smiled an odd conspiratorial smile. "It's just, you've reached a stage in your life where things don't have to hurt for a reason anymore. They just . . . hurt. Do you see? You've done your part. And now, nature is through with you."'

    Alas. How humbling.

    This is on my to-read list...thanks ricardo :)