This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Err uhFair

My title is a play on the book, The Eyre Affair (not a great big, if you ask me). However, "Err" would be the critical error that was made during our visit to the "Fair"...

Yesterday, after a full day's work, plus Girls on the Run (for me and MiMi), we headed to the State Fair so that we could do all the _other_ things we have already planned for the week (swimming, running, cycling, Fall Festival, volleyball tryouts). I promised CJ that she could get up late for school today since her wish was to go in the evening.

I loaded up on ride tickets this round. And even seven books, plus eight leftover tickets from a friend, we managed to use all but six of them.

The girls planned on riding all the "big rides". That's usually the plan every year but once they stand face-to-face to the big ride, their minds quickly changed.

Not this year. First ride: those things that go round-and-round really fast to loud music. You go one way for half the ride then they switch and send you backward for the rest. I remember riding this as a tween/teen...and one specific memory was listening to Michael Jackson's Beat It during the was the coolest thing in the entire world...

But the reality of the ride is the person on the inside of the seat ends up squishing the person on the right side of the seat.  Still, the girls looked like they were having a blast, sitting together and screaming. I could hear MiMi's scream through the whole thing.

Next ride was the white water ride - a roller coaster-like ride through water. I've ridden this with CJ one year, and MiMi the following year. This year, I thought all four of us would be able to ride but instead, they divided us into twos and CJ and MiMi ended up riding together and Tim and I together...  That wasn't the plan...

The ride is fun if you like roller coasters. And when I rode it twice before, not a lot of splash. Of course, not this time. Tim and I were splashed so hard that it soaked are entire left side. Great. I have no change of clothes...and we just started. Fortunately, by the end of the evening, since we were there until 10PM, I dried up.

The girls tried the know, the viking ship that goes back and forth really high? I couldn't believe they wanted to ride that but CJ couldn't stop talking about riding it. I rode that often when I was a kid but one year, it scared the shit out of me because, IT'S FUCKING SCARY. And my kids figured that out quickly enough. They had their eyes closed the entire time. If they could have curled up into a fetal position, they would have...

Tim, of course, laughed the entire time. I, on the other hand, had to look the other way as it was too scary to watch your kids on a ride that looked like they could be catapulted out.

They rode a few more and I managed to get CJ to ride the roller coaster with me, after her terrifying ride on the boat. She started off pretty scared but in the end, it became the favorite ride of the entire night.

Now for the "err". Tim and MiMi went into a fun house and CJ and I decided to watch the ride named "Enterprise". It looked interesting: a caged ride where the riders straddle a seat (like a banana seat on a bike). I saw couples cuddling; parent and child sitting pretty. It looked like a ride similar to the first ride the girls rode, where it just goes round-and-round-and-round...except in this case, you're in a cage and it was obvious that these cages would go totally sideways.

We watched the ride start and go on until they were sideways and then we walked back to the fun house to wait for Tim and MiMi.

When MiMi walked out with Tim, she ran straight for the Enterprise ride. CJ and I were like: oh, it just goes that first ride they rode. So Tim was like: OK. CJ didn't want to ride it and I am not big on spin-ney rides CJ and I stood outside to watch them ride it. While we stood there, the carnie called out to us and told us to come on the ride..."just one time". I looked at CJ and said "you wanna ride it?" and she shrugged a "sure, whatever".

When I went to pay with tickets, Pedro said no...we were getting a free ride. I thought I was tres cool then and we ran by Tim and MiMi where I boasted about getting a free ride.

So here we are, CJ and I, sitting pretty...the ride begins and we go super fast. Whoa, I think...this is going way faster than I anticipated. CJ and I scream for a bit. The spinning is making me dizzy but I can deal with it. I hear a weird sound come from CJ and I look out and notice that we are going up. Ah...I think, it goes UP and we spin round-and-round a few feet off the ground.

But no...instead, the fucking thing starts tipping over until we are almost at a 90 degree level. Think merry-go-round that becomes a ferris wheel...THAT IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED. By this time, I am traumatized. CJ is like a limp blob in front of me but her knuckles are white with grip on the bars...if it weren't for that grip, I would have thought she passed out she was so quiet and still.

I tried to play of how much "fun" the ride was, so I could help ease her horror. I annoyed myself so bad with my lame attempts at "oooooo! woooow! coooool! this is FUUUUUUUUN! wooooow!" When I asked CJ about it afterward, she heard not a peep from me.

The ride went forever. I couldn't walk after getting off...something to do with something called "centrifugal force". Needless to say, I was DONE with any big ride after that. Of course, we couldn't hear the end of it from Tim, who thought he was riding a fast merry-go-round too. He said while they were waiting for the ride to start, he wondered why there was a hydraulic arm sitting in the middle...but it didn't click until the arm started moving before he realized what was happening. MiMi, according to Tim, kept yelling "I can't feel my feet! I can't feel my feet!"

It makes for a funny story. CJ says that probably, the minute we turned around as we WATCHED the ride, it must have gone up and we missed the MAIN part of the ride.

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. UH, not really... As we drove within our neighborhood to get home, I could see the lights from the car _behind_ us guiding the road in _front_of us. Tim did a great job being very patient because the care followed us at every turn to our house. Finally, we pull in to our driveway and the car passes on. Tim mumbles a few curse words and then? The car parks along the rode in front of our house and a young girl comes out, running towards us. WTF? She merely wanted to read the rest of the bumper stickers on my car. Seriously? It is now close to 10:30 at night and this chick is running into some stranger's driveway to read bumper stickers.

Interesting evening, eh?


  1. I was never so glad as when my boys were old enough to not want to go to the fair! I now go by myself early on a Sunday to see the garden exhibits :) Perfect -- nothing moves :)

  2. Ahahahaha!!!! I mean, I'm not laughing at your misfortune, just your telling of it. Now I know what horrors are in my future. We went to the fair today, and I've decided that I am no longer a fan of the spinny rides. UGH! But I had to pretend it was the bee's knees with my 3.5 year old sitting next to me (all while closing my eyes and wishing the stupid ride was over). I will say, I can't complain about the length of those rides. I was over it after a few spins. Unfortunately, the damn thing kept spinning and spinning and spinning... and I was just in the kiddie section.

  3. Haha back at ya Kerry. I started out on those kiddie rides. Those spinning teacup-like things are mind-boggling...LITERALLY. I always pushed for the rollercoasters. I rode that with MiMi too...she went from big rides to kiddie rides. But yes, I too have to pretend it is *so* much fun so as not to influence my young'uns with my "too old for this shit" attitude. :)