This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Breaking Up Is Not Hard To Do

Dear GPS,

I remember the first time we met. I think it was for Christmas 2007...OK, so our first meeting is foggy. But what I do remember is how much in love with you I was.

You knew exactly where to take me and even though sometimes you were being funny, telling me "You have arrived at your destination" and I had no clue "where" that exactly was, you were always right. *I* just had to look around me to see where my destination was.

You made me feel safe and secure. I knew that you were always by my side and if I made a wrong turn, you would get me back on track.

I loved you so much that I would use you when I didn't need to. We played games: how can I get there by a shorter route vs. faster? You showed me shortcuts that I would never have figured out on my own.

You were my right-hand woman. I trusted you with everything.

But something happened. You stopped talking to me after our
trip to West Memphis in 2009. It was strange...after we reached Memphis, TN, you were telling us weird directions. It was as if you were drunk, or something.

And you haven't been the same since. For awhile, you simply refused to talk to me. But then you got over the silent treatment but what you said to me made no sense. You were telling me to turn on roads that didn't exist. I don't know what happened but I soon became very annoyed with you.

But I tried to work with you. I tried to give you space. That didn't work. I "reset" you, in hopes of getting all the bad feelings out. It would only work for a minute. And then you would steer me wrong again.

I soon grew to hate you. Just looking at you made me angry. But I would always try to give you another chance. And when you refused to cooperate, it made me want to hit you. I would curse you because you had no qualms about refusing to tell me where to go. I was so angry that I almost thought about replacing you.

But I didn't want to! We have been through some great times. But you wouldn't change. You decided to go your separate way and despite the fact that my wish for Christmas was for you to be "fixed" came true, you decided that our relationship was no longer sacred.

After what you put me through yesterday, it. is. over. You and I are through.

You wouldn't tell me where the BCBS building was in Durham. I decided it must be the big building off 15-501. I read google map's directions because, for so long, I have not trusted you. But I didn't print them, hoping, praying to your GPS goddess, that you would help me *even just a little bit*. But you did no such thing and I had to ask for help.

I was about 10 minutes late to a seminar and could not sit with my peer because it was so full by the time I got there.

And then when I was ready to head home? My gas light had come on trying to find the BCBS building. I needed gas to get back home. And what did you do? You led me on the gas hunt to nowhere. I think you did it on purpose so I _would_ get stranded in Durham. You had me on MLK Jr. Blvd. and you know the irony behind anyone ending up on a road named by such a great man! I just KNEW I was going to run out of gas TRYING TO FIND A GAS STATION! And you did nothing. I even sensed you were laughing at me.

But I was lucky. I found gas on my own.

So screw you.

It's over between us.

You are lucky I didn't punch your fucking panel in. I hate you. And I am finding someone new. And I am taking you out of my car.

I never want to see your panel again in my life.

The only person who will ever care about you

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