This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Blow Me

Today I used a blower for the first time. In my life. Ever.

I don't know who should be embarrassed: me, Tim or my parents.

Right now, we'll go for me.

But I'm not _that_ embarrassed.

I'm not really into tools, mechanics, yard stuff, and such. All the techie terms make me nauseous anyway.

I decided to use the blower to clean up the leaves that accumulated in the screened porch. Don't ask me how they got there. It's one of those mysteries of the universe.

I asked Tim if I could use it. I asked if it was difficult to use. He turned it on and said "You need to hold it". (Yes. He was being sarcastic.)

I found that it's not really that easy.

You actually have to corral the leaves so that they actually _leave_ the spot in an orderly fashion.

This was not so easy for me.

First, the leaves flew up in the air and went EVERYWHERE.

Then they spread out like they're fleeing from me.

So I had to actually figure out how to get them to follow the pattern I had in my head, which wasn't as easy to put into real life.

I managed to get them out of the porch. But I probably could have swept them faster than it took for me to blow them out. Our electric bill probably spiked in the 20 minutes it took me to blow leaves out of a 192 square foot area.

I found myself trying to lean towards the direction I wanted the leaves to know, like playing a video game? I lean left, expecting the leaves to actually go left.

But they don't.

In the end, it all worked out well. I experienced the power of an electric blower. I see you men, holding that thing, as though it's an extension of you. And you have a sense of power over you. That you are actually blowing the leaves. And no other person could ever blow leaves better than your technique.

Whatever. Have at it. I'd rather use the broom.

1 comment:

  1. This post cracked me up! The image of you with the blower (first of all) and the leaves blowing & scattering all around you (second of all)!

    I bought a gas blower over the winter break. I bought it with the intention of blowing the leaves in the front yard to the curb instead of raking them. I put it off for a couple of weekends, and then the leaf-sucker truck came by (the ONE TIME it comes by our neighborhood the whole year) and i hadn't blown the leaves yet so i was out of luck.

    My solution was to not rake and just let the leaves sit on the lawn, and then hire someone to clean up my yard this spring. ha ha.

    I still have a new-in-box gas blower in the garage. I guess it will be posted on the bulletin board soon.