This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

What Valentine's Day Means to Me

For some of you, this is not the post you expect to read. OK. Who am I kidding? Those that know me will NOT be surprised by this one < begin evil laughter >.

What does Valentine's Day mean to me?
***N***O***T*** the following:
* flowers
* flowers sent to the office so that I can have a pissing contest with other shallow women who feel the need to have their significant others send them flowers at work so they can show off to everyone...meanwhile, bombarding unnecessarily work for the admins for your superficial crap
* chocolates...just kidding. I like chocolate. You can buy that for me anytime hon. But it doesn't mean anymore on Valentine's Day than any other day...or better said: It means just as much to me on Valentine's Day as it does on every other day of the year.
* Hallmark cards - I'd rather have no card than a hallmark card. You bought me the same card that a zillion other shallow women received on Valentine's Day. How very meaningful. Someone else's words spoke for you. Awwww...
* A dinner out - HEY PEOPLE! The restaurants are taking advantage of your stupidity! Valentine's Day "special" equals higher prices. Oh, and talk about overbooking? No time for you to sit and look adoringly in your lover's eyes. GET THE HELL OUT SO WE CAN GET THE NEXT SET OF MORONS TO SIT AT THE TABLE. Go do your lovey-dovey shit somewhere else.

I'll admit. I did receive flowers from Tim on VDay one year. I just KNEW IT WASN'T for me. Because we have a deal: don't send me flowers on VDay. Surprise me on a random day of the year...but not Vday. But I loved it. Not because he sent me flowers on VDay. But because he surprised me.

Nowadays, I am more conscious of the environmental impact of ordering flowers from florists so I would say that I am no longer interested in having flowers delivered to me any day of the year...unless they come from a local garden...better yet, mine.

Nearly every year, for the past 21 years I have been with Tim, I have made a card, poem, something for him. There may have been occasional Hallmark moments, but I was lazy.

But repeating myself with different words: I'd rather get nothing than contribute just because I think I have to. That defeats the purpose of what, to me, Valentine's Day is all about. A special day to remind us of how much we love one another.

So this year, as we do most years, cards have been created. Handmade. Our own sentiments.

And this year, as we do most years, our meal will be homemade. This year we decided a healthy heart meal would be good, with the foods that we enjoy the most. Tim and CJ have fish; me and Mia will have lobster tails.

Oh and I already have some chocolate that I saved up, taking advantage of the VDay candy specials.

In summary, I would like to say to all you women out there that require:
1) Card
2) Flowers
3) Gifts

SHAME ON YOU!! Stop acting so selfish! As if you DESERVE THESE THINGS every February 14th. Forget yourself and start appreciating your significant other and give her/him your heart on this special day. You'll be surprised at how it will be reciprocated without you demanding such crap.*

*Terms and conditions of this statement is based on having a partner who is not a dick or a bitch and actually treats you with love and respect throughout the year.  He or she helps with the household chores, cooks, cleans, instead of shopping, getting nails done, or sitting in a big recliner, watching the latest sports season, drinking beer and just being a big slob of a person.


  1. Awesome post. don't forget about all the jewelry stores advertising that if your love doesn't buy you jewelry then they don't really love you. great lessons to teach our kids

  2. You are so right Bill! I had that in my head when i was reciting my post but it never made it on paper. I wanted to add something like, "If your man bought you a blender and it pissed you off, YOU SUCK!! It's the thought that counts!" Cuz I have heard how any gift except jewelry is not a gift at all...