This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


The sound of the doorbell when the pizza delivery man has our prized food in hand. In our case, we have no front porch, so a pizza man can't get to the door bell...and now, we have no door bell. Tim took it down a couple weekends ago while I was busy painting the kitchen walls -- for the third time but I think we found the color we wanted. It was a piece of shit (the doorbell, that is).

So I have to tell pizza delivery folks that they need to go through the garage. And sometimes, I decide to just wait outside in the driveway for them.

I did that yesterday after giving Stromboli's Express a try. I'm in love with Domino's Brooklyn style pizza, but I wanted a salad with my pizza and since I was just too damn lazy to go to the grocery, I searched for a pizza place that offered salads too.

Placed the order. Told 45 minutes. About 46 minutes later: no pizza.

This is unusual for us as our deliveries come in a snap. It's like: order, hang up phone, delivery! But we had used Stromboli only once before and my memory of it was that it was good...and I had no memory of any concept of time.

So I take Brenna the dog out and let her sniff the grounds while I wait for a car with a Stromboli sign.

I wait. And I wait. And I wait.

Where the f**k is he? I'm freakin' starving!

I wait some more. And more. So much more that I'm beginning to think that they lost my order or forgot about me. I am toting my phone in case they need to call...but no one calls.

Finally, I see a small blue honda driving slowly towards me. I assume it's him even though there is no indication that it is a stromboli delivery...or a delivery of any kind! But the driver is wearing a red shirt and I think that's their uniform.

He drives over into a not-quite-a-cul-de-sac section in front of my house. I know it has to be him, trying to read the addresses. He swerves by me and I wave to him -- I think, indicating that I am who you are looking for. So, not the wave "hello" but the wave "i'm here!"

He turns around and goes back from where he once came.

Hmmmm...I am pretty sure that it's him and now I think, he's not going to turn back around because he will soon figure that I was the one he was looking for and since he dissed me, he's too embarrassed to come back to face me. I am thinking: don't be embarrassed! Bring me my food! I'm hungry and I don't want to start over!! Look! I have money and you'll still get my big tip!!! Come back!!

What felt like eternity, which may have only been 10 minutes...I see the blue car come back. I am relieved! Ahhh, I think. He's figured it out -- the wave, me standing out there like a doofus. He knows its my house now.

But then, he drives right by me again. I wave at him once again and what does he do? He waves back to me, as he drives past me.

So now I think I've made a mistake and I am slightly embarrassed that I waved at a "neighbor", thinking he was the pizza guy. He must think I'm a doofus!!!

So I'm back to feeling glum about my missing food. But wait, the blue car does another u-turn and is parked next to my neighbor's house. I walk up and down, wondering, if this indeed is the pizza guy. It's gotta be - why is he driving my street in circles?

So I stand prominently...kind of gesturing to him...feeling silly doing it because I'm still not quite sure if it's the man I want. Five long minutes and my phone rings.


"hi...this is with stromboli's express. I am on your street by i'm at 6408 [i'm the next number] and I can't seem to find your number."

"are you in a blue car?"

"um, yeah...?"

"look in front of you: the girl with the dog."

"Oh! Okay...sorry."

He still got the tip that I had set aside for him...I like to tip the delivery guys generously...I think that's why I get my food so fast...and by golly, it just makes me feel good. But I don't think this KID will get a clue

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