This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Dress Shopping

Today I decided to venture to the mall to see if I could find a cool dress for an upcoming party. "Cool" being something that could possibly show off my tattoo. Well, some of it, since strategically, it would be impossible to wear something in public to show the entire thing.

It wasn't easy. It's not like we live near Rodeo Drive where one could easily find such an exotic dress. Backless in Raleigh? Ha!

I only wanted to hit one store and just get whatever I could find, backless or not. But Tim egged me on to find something close to what he/I wanted. The Guess store, he suggests.

We find the Guess store and the nice Guess guy, Carlton, helps me out. In fact, he is so good at his job that he noticed me eyeball this cool blouse that would have fit the bill, so to speak. I wasn't opposed to a blouse...I had passed by many-a-beautiful skirts that I would drop dinero down in a heartbeat.

I find a dress and Carlton, the best Guess guy every, comes over with the blouse and says "You're a small, right?" I start to protest but the truth is, when it comes to the top part of my body, I am small. It's the other half that, well, I don't have to elaborate...

So I hit the fitting room with my two pieces of clothing to try on. Carlton has placed them outside of the door to let me know I have a room reserved for me.

I try the dress on and it looks fine...nothing fancy. I open the door and Tim shakes his head no. I don't disagree.

I am now excited about trying on the blouse. It's cut perfect to show the tattoo under my ribcage and then goes towards the back to show my lava rocks and clouds.

But getting it on was a puzzle. It took me a minute to look at it and set it the way it's supposed to look, so I could figure out where my arms, head and neck would fit. Once that's done, however, I'm screwed because now one has to turn it upside down and the visual representation is GONE.

A couple of tries and I _think_ I have it on correctly...but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm truly a small. I felt ridiculous and I stared at my reflection for a good many minutes, analyzing whether I had it on correctly and if not, what other configuration could possibly be the 'right' way.

I seek help.

I open the door partially and ask CJ to tap her dad and motion him to come inside the fitting room. I ask if the blouse is on right. He questioned how else could I put it on? Well, that's why I'm asking him!!

But as you can imagine, if I don't think I have the damn thing on right, it just isn't going to look that great on me. And it didn't. So Guess is a bust too.

But before I can leave the store, I have to get my clothes back on. And before I can get my clothes on, I have to get the blouse off.

Getting it on wasn't that bad. Getting it off? I almost panicked. I managed to get my head through another part of the blouse, since I couldn't pull it off easily. But then I was stuck with my arm. And that made it even tighter for the possibility of pulling it off.

I'm trying to think straight so that I don't swell. You know, kind of like trying on rings and then it gets stuck and you keep pulling it and now your finger is swollen?

So, how do I get my head back to where it was and just start over? I guess it swelled because that wasn't going to happen.

I'm beginning to wonder if I need Carlton's help, but NO WAY is that happening because he still thinks I'm a small.

I decide this thing is coming off, as forcefully BUT GENTLY as possible. There's not much material there, so it's somewhat fragile, and well, it's a really cool piece of clothing. Handle with care.

Thankfully, the sweat that broke out on my back from the stress acted as a nice lubricant to move the back enough to loosen it and I was able to get out of the damn thing.

I quickly dressed, shook my hair back into place and walked out of the room, trying to be as 'radiant' as when I walked in.

I think Carlton's co-worker knew my struggle, though, as she kind of gave me "hey girl, I feel your pain...been there done that...but I *am* a small".

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