This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Book Review: The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx

Tim bought me this book in early December. A great early Christmas present. This was one reason why I had to stop reading Heat and move on to a new book.

I know I mentioned this in my post on my favorite album, Shout at the Devil, but I will reflect with more detail.

For ALL of my teenaged years and most of my adult life (it ain't over yet), I was in love with Nikki Sixx. My heart fluttered every time I saw him, even just a few short years ago. In my youth, I kept track of what the media fed me: his engagement to Vanity, his marriage to Brandi Brandt, the birth of his children, his divorce from BB and another marriage to Donna D'Errico (and another child).

It was Brandi Brandt's tattoo influenced by her children that gave me the idea to use CJ's Chinese Year symbol for my second tattoo.

I was obsessed in high school and just out of touch in adulthood. In high school, every yearbook has a reference to the Crue or to Nikki. When I was three months pregnant with CJ, Tim took me to Greensboro to see the Crue (front row, with the other old farts that could finally afford front row tickets) and Nikki came on stage in this shaggy orange jacket and my heart swooned. Tim even lifted my big ass up, as if to hand me off to him, but alas, I went unnoticed by the man of my dreams.

Through the last few years, I've grown a bit disdained over stardoms. Their egos have left a bad taste in my mouth (don't go there) and while I think Nikki is still hot, I know it just wouldn't work between us. His ego would be too much for me...and it's a Hollywood, or rock-n-roll ego, which is a different mindset than I could relate to. I would akin it to mingling with dumb blondes...oooooohhhh, I guess I have an ego too.

But on to the book...the book is...well...very, very, intriguing. It's a diary so it is extremely interesting to read. To top it off, there are first-hand accounts relating to the diary entries. It is mind-boggling to read but it certainly is entertaining.

At some point, and he admits it, it gets redundant reading into his ego and his turmoil. But again, it's a diary so like my blog, it's all about me (or him, in the case of his writings).

It's pretty weird, to read this, to get so intimately involved with Nikki's thoughts. It'll be the closest I'll ever get to getting to know him and well, I didn't like him so much.

The entries take place in 1987, the year I graduated high school. I can closely remember the timeline well enough since I had been so obsessed with the crue back then. He has an entry to the day that I saw them first in concert and just information about filming videos, etc. I could remember it all (but not like it was yesterday...).

It's gory, sick and disgusting. Is it sad? Seriously, reading this did not make me feel sad for him. I didn't really feel sorry for him either. And I was thankful that I had never met him in 1987 because I surely wouldn't been in love and thinking that we would be happily married, ever after. That's how googly-eyed I was back then and he would have shattered me, as he apparently shattered every other human being he encountered then.

I may have even lost a little love for him...I don't know yet. I am still resounding from the book. I haven't decided how I feel about him, other than I have to agree with many a critic that it took balls for him to put this in a novel for the world to read. Because, maybe he's redeeming himself now, but he was a real dick.

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