Note:

This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

I Am A Runner

I am. I really am. That's what I keep telling myself.

My legs want to disagree.

I ran eight miles yesterday morning. My original plan, that has since been abandoned, had me down for 15. HAHAHAHAHA! FIFTEEN?!? AS IF!

I decided, with the time I have left before the Raleigh Half Marathon, that eight this week was sufficient.

I have to back up to Thursday.

I ran with my friend Vivian. Vivian is a faster runner than me, but she's a graceful runner who will run at my pace -- if no one else around is faster.

We did well. I say "we" but really, *I* did well. Thursday's run was going to be th 5 1/2 mile loop we do from time-to-time.

I don't know how many miles we were into it, but those who know the loop, it was about 1/2 mile into Umstead that I asked if we could take a walk break.

I didn't really need to take the walk break, but I was confused. I thought this route would be hilly or slanty. I totally forgot that it isn't when we go counter-clockwise, which is what we always do. But my brain was on a huge fart and it totally slipped my mind so I was trying to gear myself up for the hills ahead, when there aren't any.

Well, there is half mile hill, but that was a ways down. I am 75% sure that I could have waited until half mile hill to start my walk break. Because I knew that I WOULD take a walk break at half mile hill. Which I did.

On the run back to work, I was so ready to just get there. I was hoping that the light at Harrison and I40 would be full of cars to give me more of a break. I was dog-tired.

Fortunately, there was a tourist who needed directions to 55 East (is there such a thing? I thought it was N/S?) right outside of the entrance to Umstead. I thought, as I walked to the driver side door, that he could be a serial killer and hesitated for a millisecond. I saw a woman beside him and then thought, I'm safe. No man *and* woman would try to kill us! And then eventually, when the brain fart actually dissipated from my brain, I noticed that there were two youngsters in the back.

I enjoyed the break. And then there was another short breat at Harrison and I40. But that wasn't enough for me. Once we got into the workplace, I told Vivian to go on without me. I was walking. This time I needed to. My thighs were just screaming STOP.

But I pushed through and started running back to the RFC. More about getting there quicker vs. an ego thing. I even ran up the damn hill to the RFC. Why do we have to have so many GD hills?

So now my Saturday run. I want to do eight. I wil go out four miles just so I am FORCED to come back four miles.

Tim takes the beloved minivan, and girls, out for donuts and stuff so I decide I'll just run from my house to Shelley Lake. It means I have to traverse some major intersections, but I am determined.

My run starts off extremely well. I decide to download and listen to Kanye West's "Stronger" thinking it would fire me up. It's a great fad song, but the lyrics are entirely about him...literally, HIM. Not about how we can all be stronger, just how he's getting stronger...

But it helps me through and I make it into Shelley just fine. I go well into Shelley to get my 40 minutes (estimating a 10 mn/mile) and turn around to head back. Well that's where the legs decided to tell me they were about to be done.

I make it out of Shelley and by the time I get to Lead Mine Road, I trip crossing the road. That was my sign that my legs were starting to go on strike. I walk a bit, run a little. I consider calling Tim to come pick me up and take me home. I wouldn't have cared so much if it weren't for the fact that I needed to get home SOON in order to get showered and go back out to Durham for my tattoo appointment. I'm still working on my time management skills...

But my ego won't let me. I'm close to home, for god's sake!

I am now on my side of Creedmoor, walking in the grass alongside Millbrook. I see Cerina's piano teacher pass me and think, hmmm...it sure would have been nice to hitch a ride home. I get into my 'hood, walk the hills and run back home. I actually make it back a few seconds over 1 hour 20 mn, which was what I intended. Either, a) I ran slower than 10 mn mile or b) ran faster. I'm going to go with b because it makes me feel better.

Can I blow off yet another disastrous run and still consider myself a runner? I'm not down and out yet, but I sure the hell ain't happy about these shitty runs.

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