Note:

This blog is now retired. My new site is at: Predictably Irrational.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Strip Tease

Tonight I wanted to try out a restaurant that I had heard about. It was supposed to be neighborhood and family friendly. I looked at the menu on-line and although PRICEY for a neighborhood place, it looked decent -- and it's been raved quite a bit in the places I read.

The place is called Bella Monica, off Edwards Mill Road. If anyone is familiar with Edwards Mill Road, there is no place, currently, for a stand-alone restaurant. I noticed on its website that it was a familiar place. It was a place that I passed by frequently, since it's near the Harris Teeter that I frequent.

I was pretty excited about finding a new locally owned, neighborhood-type place. My big mistake is that I envision how it's going to be before I get there. When I do that, I'm usually disappointed.

Today, the visit to Bella Monica was exactly that.

Holding our beautiful daughters hand, with big smiles on our faces -- especially me, since I KNOW this will be my new favorite place - we walk into the restaurant.

First off, the 'restaurant' is in a strip mall - adjoined by a few stores before the big sliding glass doors open for Harris Teeter.

Second, it's 100+ degrees outside today. A record high.

Third, we walk in, happily, and it appears to be a seat yourself place. There is no "hostess" spot to 'wait to be seated'.

We keep walking through the restaurant when we are greeted by a tall lanky guy, who I now detest.

He puts on his fake smile and asks if we have reservations. Um, it's 6:30 PM on a Wednesday. Why the hell would I consider making a reservation at a strip mall for this day and time?

Okay, I didn't say that out loud, but really, be for real. I have NEVER made a reservation for a non-chalant day like Wednesday.

We appropriately say no (if you have made a reservation for your spontaneous family outing at 6:30 PM on any given Wednesday, well, I'm sorry, YOU'RE A RETARD). He says we have two choices: sit outside or wait 30 minutes.

SCREW YOU. It's 100 degrees outside. NO ONE is sitting outside. You are an ass for even suggesting such an outrageous thing.

And 30 minute wait? Is there a sale on crack? Really? You think YOU ARE THAT GOOD?

Well, we will NEVER EVER KNOW because this is Raleigh, where strip malls are, unfortunately, a dime a dozen, and I'll find the same shitty service elsewhere.

So Bella Monica is like that retard you work with...You know, they get a masters in basket weaving and BELIEVE THEY DESERVE TO BE PAID MORE because of it.

But they graduated from, well, I don't want to insult any area colleges since I may be one of those assholes that goes back to school, so how about the Sally Struthers Graduate School, and feel they deserve to be respected. But they are a LOSER.

And so is Bella Monica for one of the most arrogant restaurant introductions I have ever had in this city. By the way, the fricking sign over its strip mall location? It has the generic "pizza" name. I kid you not! Not "The best crack you can buy on the east coast", or "We have great fettuccine Alfredo" or even, "Bella Monica". NO - just plain "pizza".

Instead, we headed over to the mafia side of town, a place we had deemed our neighborhood haunt before I was ready to give it up for "pizza"...Vincent's. We decided on the $23 pizza, with two appetizers, a child's meal, two drinks, and four glasses of wine. Let's not forget the dessert. This would have been at least DOUBLED at the "pizza" place, but no, since I wasn't sophisticated enough to make a freaking appointment on an ordinary Wednesday at 6:30 PM -- which is senior citizen time, BTW -- well, we will be the unfortunate FEW who will know how great the "pizza" place really is and how DARE we NOT make a reservation for WEDNESDAYS @ 6:30.

CIAO!

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